would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
