used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
