Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize