Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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