My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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