Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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