Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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