Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
