we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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