I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
