Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
