it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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