He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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