i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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