Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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