Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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