Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
