honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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