her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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