...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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