Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize