A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Success! We fucked roommates!
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