3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
