allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
