Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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