he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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