dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
