wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
