Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
tell me about the fingering
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