Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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