ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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