How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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