dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
