I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
