is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize