from now on my penis is your penis
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
