Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
