This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
