in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
