i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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