yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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