it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
