she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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