I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
