Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
