you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
