Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
