Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
