maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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