All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
