Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize