that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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