So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
