He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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