Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My feet surprised me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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