ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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