I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
