Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
