I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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