he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
