Walk of Shame. In a state park.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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